- albertkirkjunior
Checked Mate
Albert Kirk Jr
At schuil A mind A wis taucht aboot chess.
Ye ken the score: ye get a wheen o pawns,
Twa alphines, a cutla knichts an tours,
A king an (the best o the set) a queen.
Pawns dae bugger aw, gey near, trauchlin
Forrit lik grannies wi fushionless herts;
Knichts, they gang twa aheid an yin aside,
Lik the frawart, gowkit cuddies they ur;
Alphines ur sleekit, thaim bein kirkie,
Luikin lik wallopers, flittin agley;
Tours'll gang onwart as faur as they list
An wad, A jalouse, begowk ye for fun;
An king's ur a richt sair twang in the erse,
Crankie an notionate, haudin ye back.
Queenies can gang awmaist onywhaur but,
Ower the chacker aw hither an yon;
Pouer is throu ilka bit o the piece
An cannae be bate gin gleg wi yer heid.
Thon A wis taucht, tho telt this an aw,
Straicht fae the mooth o the maister anent:
Dinnae bi thinkin yer gettin a queen,
See'n as yer daurin tae ettle for scowth;
Sattle for knichts an alphines an pawns
An lea' aw mintin tae thaim wi the docht.