Hingin Thegither (Platty Joobs)

Albert Kirk Jr

Cannae pey the heatin bill,

Cannae pey for scran,

Wirkin saxty oor a week,

Knockin in yer pan;

Motor needs an MOT,

Bairns ur needin shuin,

Cannae tap yer pals agane,

Maunna tap yer kin;

Siller's lik a wattercoorse

Rizzert bi the sun:

Gin ye gang tae slock yersel,

Naething tae bi fund;

Nocht'll mak it tholeable,

Nocht'll mak it richt;

Nocht'll stap ye waukin feart

An hungert ilka nicht;

Dinnae fash ow'r muckle but,

Dinnae loass the place,

A'v the very dab tae pit

A smirk aboot yer face:

PLATTY JOOBS IS WI US, FREENS!

Aw the Yird is cantie!

Heeze a gless an eat a heap

Juist lik yer at yer auntie's!

Whit's it maiter that yer skint?

Betty needs yer plaudits

(Dinnae speir whit funds her but:

It widnae pass an audit);

Seiven decades lang she's sert!

The least ye'll dae is toast her!

(An hap the hoose in Union Jacks

Tae quall the local roasters);

Thinkna on the morra's dree

An gie auld Bess yer awe;

Eftir aw, she keps the kintra

Brekkin intae twa:

Thon is shuirly wirth a bittie

Scant amang her fowk?

(Even tho the sookin o her erse

Micht gar ye boak);

Sae lea' the Fiat in the sheuch

An lea' the weans bare-fittit:

Hiv yersel a belly-rive,

Choried or hame-knittit!

Thank the Queen for aw she's got

An aw the things ye lack

(An hing thegither while we ettle

Hou tae tak it back).