Taps Aff

Albert Kirk Jr

A think A'll tak ma tap aff;

It's awmaist ten degree;

A ken it isnae simmer

But thon disnae bother me;

The sun is gey near keekin oot

Ahint an Aprile clood,

An sic a ferlie gars me

Dae ma haundlins semi-nude;

A want tae shaw the weemen-fowk

Ma Taylor Swift tattoo:

Her coupon's on ma belly

An ma navel is her mou;

A'll hiv tae shave ma titties but

Tae redd them o thir hair

That growes as gleg as Tories fib

An trauchles on the flair;

An syne A'll wash ma oxters

Tae stap them gettin funky

(Juist in case a lassie wants

A wee bit dippy-dunkie);

An whan A'm guid an ready

A'll cut aboot the street

Shankin wi ma tap aff

Tae gie the quines a treat.