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Pishin Doon

Albert Kirk Jr pishin doon, pishin doon, it's aye fuckin pishin doon; fae first Julie tae en o June, it's aye fuckin pishin doon;...

Leid-bangers

Albert Kirk Jr Gin Twitter's fou o heid-bangers hittin oot wi shite, threapin that this leid o oors isnae wirth a mite, dinnae get aw...

Nocht

Albert Kirk Jr Naething tae scrieve aboot, Naething at aw; A think A'll juist pit Ma pincil awa An tak a wee meenit Tae wait for a thocht...

Taps Aff

Albert Kirk Jr A think A'll tak ma tap aff; It's awmaist ten degree; A ken it isnae simmer But thon disnae bother me; The sun is gey near...

A Guid Scotch Upsteerin

Albert Kirk Jr dinna canna willna maunna dinna canna willna maunna dinna canna willna maunna dinna canna willna maunna naw naw naw naw...

Ryalist Cantrip

Albert Kirk Jr The Queen's no deid; She's awfy awfy weel; She's staunnin at a windae Watchin sodgers dae a dreel. The Queen's juist fine;...

Pumped

Albert Kirk Jr The Union is pumped! A'body kens. Aw that wur speirin is hou will it en? Will it bi Scotland that sterts the thing gaun?...

Bastartin Tods

Albert Kirk Jr The tods are eatin bairns agane. Thon's hou it soonds tae me: The bastarts skelloch ilka nicht As lood as lood can be. A...

The Gift Tae Gie

Albert Kirk Jr a shilpit carle in a café chowes his tea alane an sits in a couthie dwam dautin a widden cuddy bocht A jalouse for a bairn...

Yer Da

Albert Kirk Jr Yer da juist votit Tory An syne he killt a wean An syne he cut its napper aff An shewed it on agane; An syne he et its...

Auld Age Disnae Come Itsel

Albert Kirk Jr A cannae feel ma hingmy; Ma whit-d'ye-cry-it's broke; Ma hoojimahadge is fawin tae bits; Ma thingmajig's a joke; A yiss...

Anent Roe v. Wade (2)

Albert Kirk Jr Bairns ur in yer baws, lads! It isnae hard tae mind: Yer juist as muckle fankelt As yer braw an jonick quine; Gin...

Anent Roe v. Wade

Albert Kirk Jr the carles whae willnae let ye wale whit wey a bairn comes oot ur thaim that wuidnae let ye wale whit wey a bairn gangs in

Tap O The "Tae Dae" List

Albert Kirk Jr Afore ye gang tae bed at nicht Content tae thole a deein licht, Tae gie yersel a mornin bricht Ye first maun cowp the...

Scran

Albert Kirk Jr Locusts, wirms an girselowpers endure in plastic kists, toatie holes in ilka lid tae keep the beasties quick: LIVE FOOD:...

Cauld Kail Het Agane

Albert Kirk Jr Wur aw Jock Tamson's bairns! Going to not do that? Wur aw Jock Tamson's bairns! Going to not? Wur aw Jock Tamson's bairns!...

Whae Am A?

Albert Kirk Jr A bide in yer mooth, but hail fae yer hert, An traivel the kintra tae ilka wee pairt; A ken aboot yin, tho no aboot yang,...

Eton Boorach

Albert Kirk Jr Putin's muckle owersicht? He didnae gang tae Eton: Thon's the wey tae siccar mak Yer cantrips urnae beaten! Thon's the wey...

Meenister for Keechter

Albert Kirk Jr Nadine Dorries annoonced the day that she's fund her ain erse wi baith hauns: its moothfae o teeth spews a river o keech...

Hingin Aboot

Albert Kirk Jr A'm urnae here tae tan yer hoose, A'm ainlie hingin aboot; A ken yer street is snod an douce, A'm ainlie hingin aboot; Nae...