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Deid Stuckie

Albert Kirk Jr braw pow cramasie (darg o the deil's bird) snell shanks fankled birkie neb wheesht gleg een mawkit short syne a gorblin...

Abortion

Albert Kirk Jr Laddies, thare isnae a wicht in the warld Cuid force ye tae poke a dirk in yer ee, Or thole wi nocht but a whisper a dirl...

Gangin Tae Shite

Albert Kirk Jr A leader wi a japer's shtick, Electorates that vote for pricks Tae mak a pairt ye cannae stick: It's aw gangin tae shite....

British Human Richts

Albert Kirk Jr Ye cannae bi trustit Tae dae as yer telt Or say please an thanks For the haun ye get dealt, Sae lea' it tae Tories Tae...

Union Jack

Albert Kirk Jr Alister Jack, Union Jack, Whit ye gonnae dae Whan we tak it aw back? Hide in a midden Doon in London toon, Sair...

Checked Mate

Albert Kirk Jr At schuil A mind A wis taucht aboot chess. Ye ken the score: ye get a wheen o pawns, Twa alphines, a cutla knichts an...

Scottish Gurnalism

Albert Kirk Jr noo that yer gettin aw gallus wur editors telt us tae scrieve that ilka last yin o ye gangrels is damnt tae a kintra...

Claggit

Albert Kirk Jr in the muckle Wastemonster cludgie a bowsie blonde-heidit toalie bobs bobs bobs an willnae flush awa bobs bobs bobs an...

Fitba

Albert Kirk Jr Ye hate yer hert for brekkin, Ye ken it's juist a gemm; Ye want tae punt yer centre hauf For scorin goals for thaim; Yer...

The Murdo Dilemma Redd Up

Albert Kirk Jr Whit ur ye gonnae dae but Bidin on yer ain Stuck wioot wur watter An wur grun An wur fish An wur ile An wur gas An wur...

BBC Scotchland

Albert Kirk Jr BBC, BBC, Tell anither lee tae me, Skew whit ilka ee can see Fae John o Groats tae Lockerbie. BBC, BBC, Propaganda licence...

Independence 2023

Albert Kirk Jr Kenspeckle intit, ma gesserent freends? Anither wee vote tae wale whit's aheid, Tae scrieve a bauld merk ablo whit his...

Smeekit

(wi a toaty wee nod tae Hamnavoe Market) Albert Kirk Jr Henderson's een wur lik terrier's baws: aye tans the whisky lik watter him....

The Dominie Gets The Bairns Telt

Albert Kirk Jr children repeat after me that which is correct and good from one who knows what is best: sight not sicht might not micht...

Anent Knichts an Dames

Albert Kirk Jr Ye say yer blythe tae be a Sir? Tae turn yer back on whae ye wur? Tae think yer marras nocht but curs Boun for a rantin?...

The Elephant's Poyum

Albert Kirk Jr Yince upon a time an elephant scrievit a poyum aboot her trunk. She wis fair tricket wi the poyum, sae she shew it tae the...

Boris Maun Gang

Albert Kirk Jr boris maun gang the wey atter maun gang fae yer plooks the wey clocher maun gang fae yer buffs the wey spewins maun gang...

Hingin Thegither (Platty Joobs)

Albert Kirk Jr Cannae pey the heatin bill, Cannae pey for scran, Wirkin saxty oor a week, Knockin in yer pan; Motor needs an MOT, Bairns...

Jubilee Street Pairty

Albert Kirk Jr Pit awa yer gowps an carks An cleed yersel in gawsie sarks; Redd a neuk intil yer thairm An rax yer pithy bousin airm;...

The Thochts o the Modren Churchill

Albert Kirk Jr It didnae happen. It micht hiv happent. It did happen; A wisnae thare but. It did happen; A micht hiv been thare. It did...