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Thochts an Prayers

Albert Kirk Jr noo is no the time tae act anent the murthert weans: maws an das ur greetin yet fae Texas tae Ukraine, Winnenden tae...

Anent "Partygate"

Albert Kirk Jr Whit kind o fandan Gangs on the randan An disnae ken Pairty's the patter? He'll tell us aw neist A faimin's a feast An ten...

Bahoochie

Albert Kirk Jr A'm fasht wi ma bahoochie; A'm urnae feelin weel; A'm siccart tae the cludgie Wi an erse that's lik the Deil; A et a...

Takkin Tent o Big Dug

Albert Kirk Jr Boris disnae gie a fuck Aboot yer fuckin greetin, Sin gin he draps a bollock Aw he dis is haud a meetin: Heidyins fae the...

Thon's No Wur Union

eftir the bairns' buiks bi Fiona Watt Albert Kirk Jr Thon's no wur Union: its weans urnae stairvit. Thon's no wur Union: its hooses ur...

Auntie Ma Erse

Albert Kirk Jr A lass fae Auchtermuchty Cuid cleck a cuir for cancer Or seek the pairt o Noah's Airk An come up wi the answer; An lads...

Pishin Doon

Albert Kirk Jr pishin doon, pishin doon, it's aye fuckin pishin doon; fae first Julie tae en o June, it's aye fuckin pishin doon;...

Leid-bangers

Albert Kirk Jr Gin Twitter's fou o heid-bangers hittin oot wi shite, threapin that this leid o oors isnae wirth a mite, dinnae get aw...

Nocht

Albert Kirk Jr Naething tae scrieve aboot, Naething at aw; A think A'll juist pit Ma pincil awa An tak a wee meenit Tae wait for a thocht...

Taps Aff

Albert Kirk Jr A think A'll tak ma tap aff; It's awmaist ten degree; A ken it isnae simmer But thon disnae bother me; The sun is gey near...

A Guid Scotch Upsteerin

Albert Kirk Jr dinna canna willna maunna dinna canna willna maunna dinna canna willna maunna dinna canna willna maunna naw naw naw naw...

Ryalist Cantrip

Albert Kirk Jr The Queen's no deid; She's awfy awfy weel; She's staunnin at a windae Watchin sodgers dae a dreel. The Queen's juist fine;...

Pumped

Albert Kirk Jr The Union is pumped! A'body kens. Aw that wur speirin is hou will it en? Will it bi Scotland that sterts the thing gaun?...

Bastartin Tods

Albert Kirk Jr The tods are eatin bairns agane. Thon's hou it soonds tae me: The bastarts skelloch ilka nicht As lood as lood can be. A...

The Gift Tae Gie

Albert Kirk Jr a shilpit carle in a café chowes his tea alane an sits in a couthie dwam dautin a widden cuddy bocht A jalouse for a bairn...

Yer Da

Albert Kirk Jr Yer da juist votit Tory An syne he killt a wean An syne he cut its napper aff An shewed it on agane; An syne he et its...

Auld Age Disnae Come Itsel

Albert Kirk Jr A cannae feel ma hingmy; Ma whit-d'ye-cry-it's broke; Ma hoojimahadge is fawin tae bits; Ma thingmajig's a joke; A yiss...

Anent Roe v. Wade (2)

Albert Kirk Jr Bairns ur in yer baws, lads! It isnae hard tae mind: Yer juist as muckle fankelt As yer braw an jonick quine; Gin...

Anent Roe v. Wade

Albert Kirk Jr the carles whae willnae let ye wale whit wey a bairn comes oot ur thaim that wuidnae let ye wale whit wey a bairn gangs in

Tap O The "Tae Dae" List

Albert Kirk Jr Afore ye gang tae bed at nicht Content tae thole a deein licht, Tae gie yersel a mornin bricht Ye first maun cowp the...