Search

Scran

Albert Kirk Jr Locusts, wirms an girselowpers endure in plastic kists, toatie holes in ilka lid tae keep the beasties quick: LIVE FOOD:...

Cauld Kail Het Agane

Albert Kirk Jr Wur aw Jock Tamson's bairns! Going to not do that? Wur aw Jock Tamson's bairns! Going to not? Wur aw Jock Tamson's bairns!...

Whae Am A?

Albert Kirk Jr A bide in yer mooth, but hail fae yer hert, An traivel the kintra tae ilka wee pairt; A ken aboot yin, tho no aboot yang,...

Eton Boorach

Albert Kirk Jr Putin's muckle owersicht? He didnae gang tae Eton: Thon's the wey tae siccar mak Yer cantrips urnae beaten! Thon's the wey...

Meenister for Keechter

Albert Kirk Jr Nadine Dorries annoonced the day that she's fund her ain erse wi baith hauns: its moothfae o teeth spews a river o keech...

Hingin Aboot

Albert Kirk Jr A'm urnae here tae tan yer hoose, A'm ainlie hingin aboot; A ken yer street is snod an douce, A'm ainlie hingin aboot; Nae...

Snotters

Albert Kirk Jr Ma snib is fou o snotters That willnae dreeble oot; They dinnae dreep a thochtie Gin A dicht them wi a cloot. A howk them...

Come On Tae Fuck, Scotland

Albert Kirk Jr A puddock in a kettle Disnae ken it's gonnae dee - But tho we deek wur herrit weird We bide an seek tae dree; A wad the...

Simon

Albert Kirk Jr The brae wis thrang wi bealin chiels Aw ettlin tae skaithe, An ithers cam tae snirt an flyre For want o ocht tae dae; Me?...

Whit Wid Tory Jesus Dae?

Albert Kirk Jr Gin an ootrel willnae droon An his orra hide is broon Pack him aff tae Africa Bi order o The Croon Gin a mither hisnae...

Blackpool

Albert Kirk Jr Auld freend, A rede as marras shuirly maun, It maks me sair tae see yer oorie sichts, Sae reuch in pairts wi hap that's no...

Faur Richt

Albert Kirk Jr Maist o forrit an ayond fares wioot ye. Time's a faem fae whilk ye beb a drap. An naething endures, marras; nae a thing!...

Tartan Day

Albert Kirk Jr It's eneuch tae gar ye bowk: Seeven hunner year - Seeven hunner year - Ahint We dinnae fecht for honour… Thir's still...

The Fashin Polis

Ye dee gin ye fash Ye dee gin ye dinnae fash Sae dinnae fash Or yer gettin the jile The Fashin Polis

Emperour's New Claes

Albert Kirk Jr A hivnae seen baws lik thon Sin yer faither wis still aboot: Ye cuidnae tell him aither but; Some cunts ur juist fou o...

The Structur

Albert Kirk Jr The structur is sae heich that ye cannae rise ower it sae braid that ye cannae shank roon it sae laich that ye cannae...

Leid

Albert Kirk Jr The Scotsman writing in English. The Viceroy snapping his fingers.

Scotch Money

Albert Kirk Jr It's ainlie legal tender gin Ye shove it up thir erse.

The Wit o Solomon

Albert Kirk Jr Strowth, thocht rank auld Solomon, A ken A've seen it duin: shear in hauf a swinkie an ye get yersel twa wirms. It...